As a therapist who sees lots of couples, here are the most common pieces of advice I give to couples about communication:
1. Validation doesn't equal agreement
You don't need to agree with your partner in order to validate their feelings. They could be completely wrong from your perspective and you can still validate their feelings.
2. Stay in your own lane
Don't tell your partner how they are feeling or how they are acting. Only say about your feeling and how you are acting.
3. Listen to your partner Be fully present when they are talking. Give them the stage.
4. One issue at a time
Make sure you are only discussing one issue at a time. If you need to, get out a pen and some paper and outline new topics as they come up.
5. Be nice and treat each other with respect. Dr. Katie Schubert, Ph.D., LMHC has master's and doctorate degrees in Sociology and Gender studies from the University of Florida and a master's degree in clinical mental health counseling from Adams State University in Colorado. She completed her postgraduate studies at Florida Postgraduate Sex Therapy Training Institute and is a Certified Sex Therapist, providing therapy to individuals, couples, and families on issues related to sexuality, sex, and gender in St. Petersburg. She is the founder and clinical supervisor at Cypress Wellness Center, a group practice offering counseling and coaching services to individuals of all ages, couples, and families. Contact her at Katie@Cypresswellnesscenter.com.
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