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Writer's pictureRebecca Koch

Positive self-talk

Positive self-talk is a powerful tool that can significantly influence how you perceive yourself and the world around you, especially for young girls and women. The way you engage in your internal dialogue plays a crucial role in shaping your self-esteem, confidence, and even your interactions with others. It’s all too easy to slip into patterns of negative self-talk, where you criticize or doubt yourself without even realizing it. This negative dialogue can profoundly impact not just your mental health, but also your relationships and overall well-being.


Your brain is constantly processing the things you tell yourself, and it doesn’t always distinguish between what’s real or imagined. Your subconscious mind doesn’t distinguish between humor and reality, so even self-deprecating jokes can reinforce the negative thoughts you’re trying to overcome. If you repeatedly think, “I’m not good enough,” your brain begins to accept this as truth. Over time, this can alter the way your brain functions, making it easier for negative thoughts to dominate and harder for you to feel confident—whether it’s about your appearance, actions, or emotions. Fortunately, you have the power to change this. Positive self-talk is more than just offering yourself compliments; it’s about rewiring your brain to support you rather than hinder you. This is where neuroplasticity comes into play. Neuroplasticity refers to the brain’s ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout your life. In simpler terms, your brain can change and adapt based on your thoughts and experiences. When you begin to tell yourself, “I am capable,” or “I deserve happiness,” your brain responds by releasing neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin that enhance your mood and build confidence. By engaging in positive self-talk, you’re leveraging neuroplasticity to create and strengthen neural pathways that promote a positive self-image and outlook. Like learning any new skill, the more you practice positive self-talk, the stronger these pathways become. Initially, it might feel unnatural or forced, but over time, these positive thoughts will become second nature, helping you cultivate a more resilient and optimistic mindset. This shift in self-talk doesn’t just improve how you feel about yourself; it also has a significant impact on your relationships. A healthy self-image and confidence enable you to engage in more positive, supportive interactions with others. You’ll find it easier to set boundaries, manage conflicts, and develop deeper connections with your friends, family, and romantic partners. Conversely, if you remain trapped in a cycle of negative self-talk, it can lead to insecurity and cause strain, unhealthy cycles, or miscommunications within social, personal and romantic relationships. The next time you catch yourself thinking something negative, take a moment to pause and reframe that thought into one of confidence and self-assurance—even if it doesn’t feel entirely true at first. Remind yourself of your strengths, your worth, and your accomplishments. By doing so, you’re not just improving your mood in the short term; you’re actively reshaping your brain to support a more positive and healthy you. Embracing positive self-talk sets the foundation for a life filled with confidence, self-love, and strong, supportive relationships Written By: Rebecca Koch (Rebecca sees clients aged 4 and above) Rebecca has a strong passion for providing individuals, ranging from children to young adults with the resources to succeed personally, socially, and emotionally. Engaging in individual and family counseling ranging from young children through adulthood; utilizing a Systemic approach to allow all family member's unique needs to be addressed to live their best lives. Rebecca specializes in family dynamics, childhood trauma, empowerment, and communication. As a student therapist, Rebecca works under the supervision of a licensed professional to ensure the highest quality of care for her clients.

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